My Nemeses
Inspired by the “Nemesis Inferno” chapter of Greg James’s excellent book “All the Best for the Future”, which I am currently reading, I made a list of my own Nemeses. I may update this as time goes on:
Yakult - Yakult by name, yuk by nature
Drivers who think that passing their driving test means that they don’t need to follow the Highway Code anymore (use your indicators FFS)
Cyclists who not only ride on the pavement but have the audacity to ring their bell like mad to tell me to move over for them. The pavement is my space bitch, get on the road. Unless you’re a kid, of course, to which I hope your parents teach you to have respect for pedestrians.
Danny Dire - I mean Dyer
Jeremy Clarkson
Padel. It’s the Freemasons of sport. Ok maybe that’s a stretch, but there is something about it that is more than a bit “middle class suburban and celebrity cult”-ish, with Jason Manford as its leader.
The folk singers on the Simplicity Cremations advert. Together with whoever came up with that awful jingle. I would like to tell them the “way to go, way to go”
Reddit
“Wellness” influencers
People who make being a parent their whole personality
People who make not being a parent their whole personality
Self service tills
Parents who insist that they are not letting their children ever have a smartphone or social media, yet still share every photo and detail about their little ones all over the internet. You’re part of the problem.
Jim Ratcliffe
People who feed pigeons. Especially the person who lived in the flat above the takeaway next to where I used to work who would throw breadcrumbs from their window down to the horde of flying rats gathered below.
People who board the bus when you’re still getting off
Chronic pain - perhaps my biggest nemesis
Steven Bartlett
Toxic (mostly male and middle aged) Whovians - as a female fan my enjoyment of the show has been ruined by these gatekeeping manchildren more than it has by anyone who has worked on it over the last few years. To the point that I would be completely ok with it never coming back on TV. Oh and it has always been “woke”. Deal with it.
People who film themselves walking or running. Watch where you're going.
People who go to the gym just to spend more time taking photos of themselves at the gym rather than actually working out. You're not fooling anyone.
Heatwaves that feel like you're living in the depths of Hell. Especially for all of us chronically ill types who also suffer from hayfever.
People who start making posts about “Spooky Szn” and “the ‘ber months” from the middle of June. You might be looking forward to leaves on the ground, darker evenings and your pumpkin spiced lattes, the rest of us are not. And I would personally ban any mention of Autumn related things until the first of September.
Anyone who refers to the last four months of the year as “the ‘ber months”.
Perimenopause